How to fall in love with yourself, while wearing a suit.

Like everything in life; there are certain rules to wearing a suit. These rules exist to stop you looking like an idiot. If there is one thing that you should take away from my blog, it is to follow each and every one of these. 

Suits. An outfit that has a matching blazer and trousers combo, which are made of the same fabric.  if the fabrics are not matching, this is not a suit. Fact. 

  • Rule #1 Do not button the bottom button on your jacket. 

This is important. Very important. You’ll probably have people who clearly don’t know what they are on about coming up to you saying ‘dude, you forgot to do up a button’….. ignore these neanderthals. Jacket has two buttons? only fasten the top one. 3 buttons? fasten the middle one, the top one can be done up on a brisk night however don’t get in the habit of it. 

*same rules apply for waistcoats – bottom button undone

  • Rule #2 – Make sure your jacket fits.

Otherwise, what will you look like? oh yeah! an idiot…

No Bodacious-Bonerific-Babes are going to be wanting to go home with you if they look up and see this: 

Related image
I mean…. c’mon bro.

The way that I make sure my jackets are fitting perfectly is by buying only bespoke, but another great way to check this is by putting your jacket on and leaning flat against a wall. If the shoulder stays the same, its a fit. If it bunches, stretches or looks shit….  well…. you’re just going to look shit aren’t you? Simple as!

  • Rule #3 – Match your Belt, Shoes and Watch

Its a small detail but it goes a long way, trust me. 

Brown shoes? Brown leather belt and a brown watch strap. 

Black shoes? Black leather belt and a black watch strap

Gold watch? Make sure to have a gold belt buckle. 

You get where I am going with this? good. 

  • Rule #4 Ties

I love ties. Like, I really love ties. Not enough men wear ties anymore, which is a shame. But also excellent for me because now I (and you too) can stand out even more. Ties have a certain debonair about them, a professional flair that attracts all eyes (especially eyes that have a pair of boobs about a foot below them) to you. However, a tie  can easily look like shit…… Assure your tie stops just before your belt. Also; assure that your tie and pocket square don’t match, but compliment each other. As a wise leader once said:

If you want her legs wrapped around your neck, first tie a tie around it. 

–   Mahatma Gandhi

  • Rule #5 – Trousers

Unfortunately we need to wear them. Even after my application to have my junk recognised as the 8th Natural Wonder of The World, I apparently still need to cover up (sorry everyone). But what better to cover up with than a nice pair of suit trousers? These should be fell fitted and sit just above the opening of your shoe. The waist should sit 1 inch below your bellybutton. and you don’t want your belt bunching up the top and ruining the fabric, while looking shit at the same time, so be sure to buy the correct waist size (it’s alright, you can lie about it after) 

Now, I’m going to post a picture of exactly what your trousers shouldn’t look like: 

Look at that….. just look at it. Have you looked at it? c’mon bro I know it’s difficult but this is supposed to be educational, okay? looked at it now? Thank you. 

This small list should get you to where you need to go. And, where you need to go is to a suit store. 

One thought on “How to fall in love with yourself, while wearing a suit.

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