The night that London swallowed me whole.

I went to the rave. 

It was crazy.

Wait, no, even more than crazy….. 


We’re on the train to London, (Tasha, Hannah and I) getting merry with a few beers. We get there and go in. People…everywhere. Women in scantily clad outfits….. EVERYWHERE. Drunk women just looking to have a great weekend…… EVERY-FUCKING-WHERE!

I didn’t know where to look. I was in heaven. I was looking around so much I’m half tempted to sue the organisers for whiplash. 

So, I’m there doing my thing, throwing some shapes, as you do. Arm in the air, which is usually affiliated with someone not caring, and when I brought it down, my elbow cracks down on this girls head. She’s holding her head, I’m standing there not too sure what to do now. I let out a feeble ‘sorry’ and attempt to walk off but who is there when I turn around…. this girls sister. 

Now, my usual decorum filled self, emblazoned with debonair and a way with words,  wouldn’t usually put it this way, but….. ELBOW TO THE FACE GIRLS SISTER; DAYYYUUMMMMM!

Fast forward 2 hours: I have now lost my friends, my phone has died, I am still with this girl and have accepted her invitation to stay in London for the night instead of going back home as planned. In my head this could’ve gone 1 of three ways:

  1. Go back to hers and have sex (obviously the most ideal of the situations). 
  2. Wake up the next day in a bath of ice, with no recollection of the night before, and my kidneys missing.
  3. Or; I Die

After weighing up these Pro’s and Con’s I decide to go ahead and do it anyway. Now, this night very much continued until 6am. This was painful for me, and to stop it being just as painful for you, I am summarising the events:

  • 2330: Left the rave and blindly got on a tube, not knowing where she was taking me
  • 0015: End up in a random house with a bunch of Italians 
  • 0045: Accompany this girl and her Italian friends to an underground warehouse party 
  • 0100-0510: Get repeatedly ditched throughout the night but she kept coming back so that was alright
  • 0515: Order an Uber
  • 0600: Get back to her apartment in North London
  • 0601 onwards: Awwwww Yeeeaaaah 😉 

I left her my number and left the next morning.

THE NEXT MORNING!?” I hear you exclaim. Yes. The next morning. Because London is scary and I had nowhere to go ok? OK? 

All in all, was I right to be excited for this night? Yes. 

Would I do it all again? Yes, 

Would I do it again soon? Maybe this should be a seasonal thing……

One thought on “The night that London swallowed me whole.

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