How to Fall in Love with Yourself, while wearing a suit #5

Back at it again, with them rules to keep you looking fiiiiine.

  • Rule #11 – Sit Down boy! Stand Up lad!

Obviously, we all remember the bottom button rule? say it with me; “Yes, sensei”, excellent. Good Job. There is another rule when it comes to the buttons of your jacket. If you’re standing, button fastened. Sitting, however, button open. This avoids both you looking like a moron and also the stitching holding your jacket on being unnecessarily stressed. This could cause disaster if your button comes off at the wrong moment. Save yourself the embarrassment and just follow this simple rule.

  • Rule #12 – Lapels
Peaks and wide peaks are a more of a classic look, shawl is more on the casual side.
Thank you to Kicks Whips and Suits for this fantastic infographic. A picture says a thousand words. Credit for this next picture also goes to them.

  • Rule #13 – Which Watch?

Not a sports watch. That is the answer. Now I can’t pretend to be an expert on watches as I only own 3 myself. However, I know for a fact you cannot be seen dressing to the nines and wearing a sports watch to accessorise. What the fuck, imagine it…

  • Rule #14 – BRACE yourselves, we’re talking BELTS.

I interchangeably use either a pair of braces or a belt. I recently have been favouring the braces though. Why? a number of reasons. One of which is that they hold my trousers up, but not pulling the waistline of the trousers in so they just seem more comfortable. Another reason is that they sit just between your shoulders and your traps, and I’m not trying to toot my own horn or nothing, and I know I’m a little biased, but, I definitely think I look sexier and more muscular in them.

  • Rule #15 – Rock that body [type]

Basically, if you’re a short bastard, then you’re a short bastard. If your a tall, lanky weirdo, well you’re just a tall, lanky weirdo then aren’t you? You are what you are. However, this doesn’t mean you can to be dressed like a homeless person in the meantime. You short stacks out there should stick to single-breasted, standard notch lapel suits. Try to avoid double-breasted and peak lapel jackets as these have just more area, space and material in the design and can give a real drowning in material look (like at the end of Big with Tom Hanks). 

Lanky toothpicks should go for the option that will widen out their bodies, meaning the double-breasted and wider and peaked lapels. Are you carrying a few more beers on top of that shy six pack of yours nowadays? Opt for a single button jacket, with low button placement. This will elongate your silhouette, making your look thinner overall.

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How to Fall in Love with Yourself, while wearing a suit #4

I am happy to present the fourth entry of the How to Fall in Love with Yourself while wearing a suit series:

  • Rule #11 – Undershirts 

Are great. Your shirt fits a bit tighter. Getting a bit warm? no need to worry about sweat patches. I would opt for a V neck long sleeve or short sleeve shirt, this avoids your undershirt peeking through.

Little tip: If you are wearing a white shirt, opt for a light grey under-t-shirt as this blends better and you won’t see the sleeves.

  • Rule #12 – Fabrics

The more often you wear your suit, the more durable your fabric will need to be. And surprise, surprise; the less often you wear a suit the less durable the fabric will need to be. For daily use, I would recommend durable wool, for example, a Super 120. Anything below this would not be durable enough for daily use.

Image result for suit fabrics
  • Rule #13 – Modern vs Classic

This decision is purely down to personal preference. I’ve put together this little infographic on the matter:


  • Rule #14 – Cuffed Trousers

I don’t like them.

How to Fall in Love with Yourself, while wearing a suit #3

We’re Back.

Back with a bang.

Enough chit chat, lets get to it;

  • Rule #9  –  Suit Styles

There are specific suit colours and styles, for specific occasions and events. If you wear the wrong thing it will be noticed. And even if you’re surrounded by amateurs who won’t notice, you’ll notice. And if you’re anything like me, this will eat you alive.

  • All-Season Dark Solid.

Dark Charcoal or Navy is the move here – not black. Black is very formal and has it’s place in the world. But if you are going to own just one suit it should be a Dark Solid All-Season suit, two buttons, notch lapel. The sartorial equivalent of the little black dress.

Perfect for: Weddings, Funerals, Christenings, work, work do’s etc.etc.

  • Summer Suit.

Obviously most people would say shorts and a t-shirt would be more appropriate summer wear, however, nobody reading this is a T-shirt wearing lemming, right? RIGHT!? Doesn’t matter on the season, to score a 10 you need to be dressed to the nines.

Summer suits, light, approachable, fun. I have a lovely 3 piece tan suit closet at the moment just waiting for the first day of summer. The great thing about tan suits is that not a lot of people have them so as long as it a good fit with appropriate accessories, you’ll stand out.

Also good; Pastel Tones.

  • The Check Suit.

My personal favourite. I own a few that’s for sure. An all-over patterned suit is a surefire way to stand out from the crowd. Slightly on the edge of peacock territory. Also they look loud and fancy enough so that you look expensive.

To be the maverick that we all know you are, wear the full suit and have it tailored. You want this to be sharper than a serpents tooth.

  • Rule #10  –  Suit Fit

I’ve mentioned this time and time again, but I’m going to just do this again because I feel I need to (yes, that was a diss).

  • Collar Gap – Is there a gap between the collar of your shirt and your jacket? If so get your jacket tailored, this is a sign of an ill-fitting suit.
  • You should be able to snuggly slip your hand in-between your torso and the breast of your jacket. Snug but with enough room to move.
  • Shoulders, shoulders, shoulders. Put your jacket on and lean against a wall. Does it scrumple, look stretched and/or feel uncomfortable? No good pal. Does it look exactly the same as when you are standing straight? Ayyyyy perfect!

I’m enjoying doing this “How to fall in love with yourself….” series.

Please click here to see all posts in this series so far!

How to fall in love with yourself, while wearing a suit #2.

The other day I, unfortunately, had a bury a good friend of mine. He was about 4 years old, skinny, black, silk with a matte floral charcoal grey pattern. It was a tragic accident. There he was, living his best life, getting complimented by an array of women, and men, he didn’t judge. Then next thing ….. he got caught on a door-handle and ripped himself in two… his insides were everywhere. I fell to my knees, holding his tattered remains in my hands. I threw my head back, tears streaming down my face. 

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There will never be such a charming, attractive, charismatic tie like him….

  

  

Anywho, my tie (may God rest his soul) needed replacing which made me think of a number of other things that weren’t mentioned in my previous post when buying suits, or accessories. 

  • Rule #6   –   Accessories

Are great! When you don’t kill them. By killing them I mean, there is such this as over accessorising. Tie and a pocket square? Awesome! Tie and a lapel pin? Looking good bro! Tie and a tie bar? Lock yourself in a secure building because a stampede of horny women is coming your way!

However…. a tie, lapel pin, tie bar, and a pocket square leaves you walking around like Hackneys Pearly Kings.

  • Rule #7   –   Jacket Stitching

When you pick up a new suit from the tailors or buy one off the rack, the jacket will have little stitches in them in order to save its’ shape. These will be found in the pockets and the vents on the bottom of the back. 

With a very sharp knife ( or ask your tailor or shop assistant to do so) remove the stitching from the back vents. Do Not remove the stitching from the pockets because this leaves them open to being used, this will warp the shape of your jacket over time. 

  • Rule #8   –   Ties

In addition to the previous rules on this matter. Which you have been following… right? RIGHT!?

I’ve been thinking of appropriate ties for appropriate events, and one of the best websites I have ever seen for this information is Tie-A-Tie. 

Matching Collar with Tie Styles!

http://www.tie-a-tie.net

How to fall in love with yourself, while wearing a suit.

Like everything in life; there are certain rules to wearing a suit. These rules exist to stop you looking like an idiot. If there is one thing that you should take away from my blog, it is to follow each and every one of these. 

Suits. An outfit that has a matching blazer and trousers combo, which are made of the same fabric.  if the fabrics are not matching, this is not a suit. Fact. 

CREDIT
  • Rule #1 Do not button the bottom button on your jacket. 

This is important. Very important. You’ll probably have people who clearly don’t know what they are on about coming up to you saying ‘dude, you forgot to do up a button’….. ignore these neanderthals. Jacket has two buttons? only fasten the top one. 3 buttons? fasten the middle one, the top one can be done up on a brisk night however don’t get in the habit of it. 

*same rules apply for waistcoats – bottom button undone

  • Rule #2 – Make sure your jacket fits.

Otherwise, what will you look like? oh yeah! an idiot…

No Bodacious-Bonerific-Babes are going to be wanting to go home with you if they look up and see this: 

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I mean…. c’mon bro.

The way that I make sure my jackets are fitting perfectly is by buying only bespoke, but another great way to check this is by putting your jacket on and leaning flat against a wall. If the shoulder stays the same, its a fit. If it bunches, stretches or looks shit….  well…. you’re just going to look shit aren’t you? Simple as!

  • Rule #3 – Match your Belt, Shoes and Watch

Its a small detail but it goes a long way, trust me. 

Brown shoes? Brown leather belt and a brown watch strap. 

Black shoes? Black leather belt and a black watch strap

Gold watch? Make sure to have a gold belt buckle. 

You get where I am going with this? good. 

  • Rule #4 Ties

I love ties. Like, I really love ties. Not enough men wear ties anymore, which is a shame. But also excellent for me because now I (and you too) can stand out even more. Ties have a certain debonair about them, a professional flair that attracts all eyes (especially eyes that have a pair of boobs about a foot below them) to you. However, a tie  can easily look like shit…… Assure your tie stops just before your belt. Also; assure that your tie and pocket square don’t match, but compliment each other. As a wise leader once said:

If you want her legs wrapped around your neck, first tie a tie around it. 

–   Mahatma Gandhi


  • Rule #5 – Trousers

Unfortunately we need to wear them. Even after my application to have my junk recognised as the 8th Natural Wonder of The World, I apparently still need to cover up (sorry everyone). But what better to cover up with than a nice pair of suit trousers? These should be fell fitted and sit just above the opening of your shoe. The waist should sit 1 inch below your bellybutton. and you don’t want your belt bunching up the top and ruining the fabric, while looking shit at the same time, so be sure to buy the correct waist size (it’s alright, you can lie about it after) 

Now, I’m going to post a picture of exactly what your trousers shouldn’t look like: 

Look at that….. just look at it. Have you looked at it? c’mon bro I know it’s difficult but this is supposed to be educational, okay? looked at it now? Thank you. 

This small list should get you to where you need to go. And, where you need to go is to a suit store.